I have been playing with writing music lately. Mainly that means that I have been furiously scribbling into a note book, and I have a friend who can shred a guitar come over and we try to put those words to melody. Playing at writing music.
Today we had an audience. Not an intrusion, just an overlap of schedules so that while I was working on my music she was using the studio. After my guitar shredding friend left for the evening, my art working friend started asking me about the songs. She wanted to know what they meant, and why I wrote them.
I explained them to her. How one was about my love story, and how Paul and I have been together so long, even though, well at least I didn’t expect us to be together in the first place. The second song was about a battle that I face with depression, and how I feel that it is viewed by others and how it can at times overwhelm my life.
The conversation went on for a while.
But it wasn’t all about me.
That was the beautiful part. Since I was willing to sing about those experiences and share them, I actually got to learn more about this friend then I would have if we had spent the entire evening chatting about world events. I was able to learn about who she is, some of her struggles, and what makes life meaningful to her. All it took was a little bit of soul baring on my part to start.
This is something I struggle with, mostly because in the past I have put my heart out there. Opened it up and stretched it out for everyone to see. And at times, it felt like people looked at me and just shook their heads, because my heart wasn’t anything special.
It hurts.
So, maybe my heart is not strong enough to be worn on a sleeve. I think I may just keep it tucked up inside, instead of left out in the cold, and I will sing about the things that I have hidden in my sleeve.
Continuing the adventure,
Jess
Jess Boctor 
Leave a comment