Somewhere, between Frankfurt and Trier, Nan is stuck on a train.
She’s been there for about nine months or so.
I’m doubtful if she will ever get out.
Nan is a character of a novel (unpublished) which I wrote about a year ago. I am making plans to give the novel a last edit and then publish to Amazon. With the kindle and proliferation of e-books, the gamble I take is that no one will read it. They most definitely aren’t reading it now, so I like the odds.
The thing is, with plans to publish the first book, I feel the need to get cracking on the second book which currently exists in a myriad of scenes and quotations in my head. I have the plot sketched out, I know how the adventure should go, I love the characters which I have created.
And yet Nan is just sitting on that train.
When I first started composing the follow up, I was frustrated because the characters which I had created wouldn’t behave in the way which I expected them to. They were suppose to fight, and yet one gave in too easily and the other never misbehaved. This strange stalemate which they put me into lasted for a few months when finally I had a break through, I resolved the discrepancies and they had a great fight. It would seem I would now be free to complete the novel, or at least a chapter.
Yet Nan is still sitting on that train.
I have been contemplating the reluctance I have had in writing the next stage of Nan’s story, and I realize that it isn’t really Nan who is stuck. It’s me.
The first novel I wrote (and rewrote) in a period of about six months. With a cheerleader and brave understanding of my message, I moved through the thousands of words with determination and gusto. I wrote a bold fiction based on those things which I knew to be true. Things I understood, a journey which I have been in the process of taking and could recognise the road signs.
Now though, Nan’s story, my story, is moving through uncharted territory. The roads are unfamiliar and my steps more hesitant.
And since I am not ready to step onto the platform, I am stuck on the train.
Continuing the adventure,
Jessica

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