Mine.

Nothing is mine.

I may give the posseive adjective to many nouns, my book, my house, my studio, my dog, my parents, my husband, my uncle, but in truth it only serves as a way to describe the relationship of a person, place or thing to myself.

This truth hurts.

Deeply.

As we face loss, we are forced to grapple with intense and varied emtions; fear, anger, injustice, anxiety. How are we suppose to be able to cope with these emotions? Do you punch out a pillow? Talk through them? Cry? Or in my case, cry alot?

This morning, I am trying to understand how to communicate love and hope in the face of great loss. A family member had unexpected openheart surgery yesterday morning. While the surgery went well, the recovery is proving more difficult than anticipated. I am sitting and praying; waiting for the Holy Spirit to give me some words which will balm, soothe, and grant peace to others. As I wait for the Lord, my thoughts keep going back to two biblical truths:

Nothing is mine.

God is pissed.

Psalm 24:1-2 reads, “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, The world and all its people belong to him. For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas and built it on the ocean depths.” God created this world, Psalm 139 talks about how He knit each and everyone of us together in the womb, we belong to Him. As much as it hurts, it also gives peace to trust God and know He has a hope and a future for us, to remember we are only stewards of the life he breaths into us.

So why does the stench of death burn so badly? Why does loss and separation feel like you’ve just been gutted? Why is it so hard to bury someone under the earth?

Death was never a part of the plan.

The pain you feel is a reflection of the pain God feels whenever He is separated from the creations which He loves so much. Genesis 1 describes God’s perfect creation; an earth and humanity which were designed for eternity. We choose different, and every generation has lived out the consequences. One day, God’s righteous anger will renew creation and we will live with Him for eternity. Until that chosen day, we (humanity and God) suffer the pain of loss together. Please don’t be fooled into thinking God is as morose about death as you and I, vengence is His and He counts each death.

I am not very good with empathy face to face. It’s not that I don’t sense and feel others, I do instensly. I’m just not very good at expressing it beyond backscratches and silent prayers. My prayer today is to be an open vessel, so when the Holy Spirit moves, I am ready to serve others in every situation.

Continuing the adventure, 

Jess