The Extroverts Have Been Lying to Us.

These are my friends Eun San and Linda.

They have been visiting Paul and I for the last three weeks or so. It has been great to have them here not only because I enjoy their company, but because they are introverts.

Just like me.

My mother doesn’t really believe I am an introvert because I am, as she says, the loudest introvert she has ever met. Many people who I meet are often surprised when I tell them I am an introvert. I attribute this obeservation to the fact that I have been raised in a family of extroverts, I married an extrovert, Paul’s family are almost all extroverts, and most of my friends are extroverts.

My options were to be loud or fade into the background.

I’ve been trained and groomed to act, think, and speak like an extrovert. I am pretty good at faking it for awhile. However, anyone who has seen me after a long day of talking (especially to people I don’t know well) have witnessed that at some point I just run out of words. If I get to this point I usually skulk away to some quiet corner and hide.

Here is where the lies come in. Since I operate differently than extroverts, and extroverts seem to run the world, it has been easy to feel that I am defective. When I need time to myself I feel percieved as somehow antisocial, moody, or melancholic. I have been described as “stuck in a shell”, “shy”, “sad”, and Paul’s personal favorite “crazy”.

The joy of spending time with other introverts is in realizing I am not alone. Silence, when shared with friends, can be just as great as talking. It doesn’t have to be boring, uncomfortable or exhausting as the extroverts would have us believe. Eun San and I spent three hours in silence. He sat on the couch reading his book. I laid on the floor and switched between sleeping and reading. No music. No TV. No frivolous noise.

It was beautiful.

So extroverts, I’ll play your games, but maybe sometime you would be willing to sit in silence with me.

Continuing the adventure,

Jess