God’s Will for Loudness

On Sunday, someone accidentally touched a raw emotional nerve for me.

That evening, I spent some time asking why this particular nerve was so raw. I recognize my reaction was out of proportion to the other person’s actions. At first, I blamed the situation on my tendencies to spin out when my feelings get hurt. In the moment, I cursed my brain chemistry, took a few minutes by myself to recover, and tried to move on with my day.

As I reflected on the earlier conversation, and how hurt I was, I wanted to know why. The issue surrounded one of my flaws, namely, that I tend to jump in volume when I become passionate about the topic of discussion. A few years ago, I would have taken the criticism and brought it before God, asking him to either change me into a more meek person (though I’m not really sure how it would be accomplished, since I’m pretty shy as it is), or to give me the strength to resist being a loud mouth.

Sunday evening, I asked something different. I asked God what His will for my loudness is. Over the past few years, I have learned that sometimes the things we see in ourselves, and in others, as flaws are actually traits which God has instilled in us to use for His purpose. They may be traits which have not yet been refined, but it doesn’t mean they are any less intentional.

I don’t know if the answers will come soon. I don’t have much of an inclination of what the answer will be. My goal is to be ready to move when the answer does come.

Continuing the adventure,

Jess