Author: Jess Boctor

Friday Night Dinner

R&R

We broke out the fire pit and explored some new trails near our home.

Special Delivery

We have been checking out FB Marketplace on the regular for some large tree rounds. The plan is to incorporate them into the kid’s play yard. The trouble is finding some close and big enough to do what we want, but not so big that we can’t transport them. So when our neighbor across the street had a tree cut down, Paul stopped by to ask if we could have some of the rounds and branches. The tree cutters were happy to drive the load over to our house rather than having to haul the majority away somewhere else.

Up Next

Friday Night Dinner, out-of-town friends visiting for the long weekend, and baby Bee’s birthday all happening next week.

Friday Night Dinner

We skipped hosting dinner this week. The kids school had a family picnic which we attended. You can find the schools photos here.

Enjoying Nature

Diving into Community

Our family has found a home with Experience Community Church – Tullahoma. There are four Experience Community Church campuses. It’s always a bit daunting to get plugged into a new church, but service is one of the best ways. On Monday night, they held a volunteer fair. We attended with the kiddos in tow. We’re making contacts, and I am sure there will be more updates on how things are going in the future.

Up Next

A mostly quiet week ahead. We’re looking forward to hosting Friday Night Dinner again next week.

I am a big fan of pivots. Changing your current direction in order to continue, and more effectively, work towards your goals.

But what happens when one pivot leads to another which leads to another, which leaves you sashaying through your year?

That has been the last 12 months for us.

It started with failed potty training. Then a reorganization at Paul’s employer. Then kept building with a summer of mismatched schedules. A new opportunity for growth in my career. The realization of just how fast our kids are growing up. A two-year timeline until our oldest starts school (which is, in itself, a pivot and a new speed of life) An evaluation of what’s really important to us. Questioning if those values are achievable where we are currently living.

The result? We’re moving.

Where? We don’t know.

For the last 10 years, Paul and I have been trying to work out leaving Southern California. We want to live somewhere more green. I love rainy summer days. Paul wants to be out in nature more. We want to be some place simpler, with more space. We want to escape being landlocked by traffic.

When I joined Automattic, I told Paul that we could move anywhere that met three criteria:

• Within an hour drive of a city. I am an urban kid at heart. I want to be able to drive into an urban center for a day and get my fix.
• Within an hour drive of a major airport. We love to travel. I also have to travel a few times a year for work. I don’t want to add extra time just getting to and from the airport.
• Have a significant body of water. I love the ocean, but lakes and rivers also meet the criteria.

So at the end of last summer, with everything spinning around us, we began to explore the option of leaving California. The conclusion we came to was that we needed to spend time exploring other parts of the United States.

So we did a thing…

We bought a fifth wheel trailer four days after New Years. Our home sold three months later. Our belongings have been divided into trailer, storage, and go away. We have booked our route as far as Texas and hit the road in a week. We are hoping to find a place to settle down before the two-year timeline runs out.

Burning, sorting, patching; all part of the process in a transition of this scale.

It’s been a whirlwind. There have been stressful and exhausting days as well as exuberant hopes. The kiddos have been champs at dealing with the onslaught of transition we have thrown at them over the last six months. Paul has stepped up to the role of full-time dad. I will continue working as we adventure east.

My parents have kindly let us live in their driveway for the last four weeks as we complete final preparations. It’s a bittersweet experience. Capturing as much time together as possible. I keep looking around at the litter of loss. The toys that will be left behind to get packed up. The scribbles on the wall. The precursors to the ache which is waiting for us. The reminders that we were there, and now we’re not.

There is much we will miss about Southern California. Our families and friends top the list. The option to attend Sandals in person. The way the hills look after a heavy rain. The sound of the Pacific on a summer day. Mexican food. Kaiser Insurance. Orange poppies and the blossoming fruit of the orange groves. There is so much to be grateful for. So much that we have been able to experience as we both grew up here.

At the same time, there are some challenges that have been hitting our state hard. Addiction and mental health issues have caused a huge rise in homelessness. There is a water crisis. Inflation, which I know is bad everywhere, has been extremely hard in a high-cost area. We want so much more for our family than fleeing politics and expense, because we know those are everywhere, but politics and expense can’t be ignored. Twenty years ago, I would have donned a cape; fought the good fight.

Motherhood changes how you define what a good fight is.

For me, a good fight is giving these two little wonders a chance to have time with their parents. To experience something other than the rush of wake-up, day care, stressed parents, dinner, and bed. Exposing them to the world in a way that is more slow and safe than the pace we currently have. Offering them my attention, not my exhaustion. Introducing them to Jesus. Parenting gently. Teaching by doing together. Being a better and healthier version of myself. Loving their father in a way that makes them feel safe.

For Paul and I, I hope that we laugh together more. I am looking forward to snuggles by a campfire. To remembering how to talk about anything other than chores, bills, and kids. That we can get back to being best friends rather than project managers.

For me, this is a chance to pilgrimage back to who I used to be. I want to find that girl and bring her along for the journey to the woman I need to be.

Adventure on.