Category: Uncategorized

I read this great quote today from the blog of the INTERN.

“Creativity is a mysterious thing, and the collective story we tell ourselves about it is as prone to shifting over time as the collective story we tell ourselves about diseases or gravity or gender or fruit flies.”

The poignancy of these words made me question what stories I have been telling about creativity; how they have morphed over the years as I negotiated this strange thing called life. 

A few years ago I was dancing about the world spouting off my twenty three year old wisdom of how everyone is creative, and anyone can be an artist. You just needed time and space, I thought. If you have those things poof! You can be creative and artistic.

What snobby little liar I was.

After having worked full time for a year and half I realize now just how much work it is to be creative. It is an exhausting and draining process of trial and error, of planting and tending to skills which you hope will one day will produce something beautiful and universal. Time is precious, and carving out an hour or two so I can sit, staring at an empty screen and blinking cursor can be maddening. A quiet space for your thoughts and hands to work cohesively together is just as difficult to find. As your spouse rolls their eyes at you for sneaking away with the laptop at 2am again, you might wonder if it is worth it.

My answer is, yes, there is value in it. Those hours of staring, typing and deleting will eventually lead to a few paragraphs. The paragraphs will lead to a chapter after some copying and pasting. And someday, if you are diligent and trusting, those chapters will go through editing and you will have a book.

I speak from experience.

So, that is the story I tell about creativity; all you need is time, space, and the guts to stick with it.

Continuing the adventure,

Jessica

 

 

 

Lots of thank yous to Matt Weybright, the awesome photographer who took these shots. If you are in the Riverside area and are interested in booking a photoshoot with Matt, you can contact him here.

 

My internal monologue has taken a direction towards the Shakespearean tragedy today. Specifically around the indecisive prince; Hamlet.

Just as the young prince was haunted and shamed by his dead father; I have my own appiration to face. A double edged sword which those closest to me have termed, “Jessie do it.”

You see, this undaunted belief that I can do anything has given me amazing opportunities and allowed me to try without (much) fear of failure. At the same time it has also placed me in situations where I have had to live with the consequences of being brave and of risk. When you have no fear of failure there is usually a trail of it following you around somewhere.

This can lead to a manic and indecisive life, a question of to be or not to be always plaguing the mind. To risk or not to risk making your heart doubt.

So what does this have to with vanity?

It would be my undoing.

When you risk you have to have something to back it up with. You have to believe that you’re up for the challenge. As an artist you have to believe you have something to offer.

It takes balls.

So what gives an artist their courage? It either comes from within or from an external source. In my case it has to come from God.

If I ever lose sight of the fact that I am on this path because I have trusted God and who He made me to be then my only option will to turn to vanity. To fill my head with ideas of how amazing I am. To repeat to myself false self assurances and pep talks, and to be constantly sweeping my trail of failure under the rug.

To me that just seems exhausting, and exhaustion is a lifestyle I am all too well acquainted. So I will keep the author of my story at the forefront of my mind as I continue the adventure and run from vanity.

Jess

Dear Jon, 

You got married on Saturday and I couldn’t be happier for you. Your wife is a beautiful and amazing person, and it is wonderful to see you smitten. You’re leaving soon and taking her back with you to Florida. I think God has some amazing adventures in store for you both, and you some new lessons to come with them.

But always remember how to jive and wail.

I love you both.

Your little big sister,

Jess

Pa meh wak.

Joel 1:11-12

Be ashamed, O tillers of the soil;

wail, O vinedressers,

for the wheat and the barley,

because the harvest of the field has perished.

The vine dries up;

the fig tree languishes.

Pomegranate, palm, and apple,

all the trees of the field are dried up,

and gladness dries up

from the children of man.

The day of the Lord is coming. He is coming to claim what is His here on earth, what He has entrusted to us to care for and raise up for His honor. 

I fear He will be coming back to empty fields.

The first time I read the passage above, another verse flashed in my mind:

Matthew 9:35-37

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and vilages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. 

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harrassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but larborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Let me see if I can clearly communicate the connection which was revealed to me, and how aptly I feel it describes the current condition of the church. 

Two thousand years ago, when Jesus walked the earth He knew there were people in the world just waiting for Him. People who needed help, to be given justice, to be guided, who just needed someone to see them and love them. People who would respond if only they were given the chance.

So He tells us to pray for workers. He says we need to ask for those who will go out to the multitudes and bring His good news to them, because there will always be a plentiful harvest if someone will go out to do the work.

Now, lets come back to the present. 2000 years later and the harvest is still great. The masses who are waiting for the justice, love, and compassion which we are to bring are still waiting. And waiting.

And waiting.

We don’t have enough workers. 

We have found ourselves in a place where statistics tell us that for every ten people filling a church pew, only 2 will actually give their time, talent and treasure to serve God. We have fostered a culture of religion which allows for and excuses inaction and laziness. 

Meanwhile, the harvest is dying in the fields.

So let’s wail, fellow vinedressers. Let’s cry out to God for more workers. Let’s plead for Him to pour His Spirit over those who have not yet engaged in their role in the body of Christ. Pray that those who are asleep woud be awakened.

Let us stir up a revival so the gladness of men will not dry up and we are not ashamed at His returning. 

Continuing the adventure,

Jess

What I find the most amazing about the God I serve is that He is every where. He is in the wind when I sit still by the water, the knot in my stomach when I need discernment, the laughter of my husband when we spend time together, and I can always sense Him in music.

So why would I be surprised when in the midst of a small theater of strangers and dressed outside of my comfort zone, God showed up. He met me there, in the middle of rock conert to remind me wherever I am, I can meet with Him.

Take a moment, and meet Him wherever you are. Maybe this will help.

Continuing the adventure,

Jess

You can also check out the videos from Saturdays performance at Kroq.