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Hats off to #NovemberBlogFest

There are many hats I’ve worn

Tried them all on for size

To see if I could find the one

That’d brighten up these eyes

Some have been fashioned by society

Some were sewn of expectations much too high

A few I wore for far too long

In many of them I’ve tried to hide

The ribbons, buttons and beads

All used to dazzle me

Like an emperors clothes kept me blind

That a crown of thorns was my reality

It is time for me to decide

Who it is I wish to be

No longer ruled by pin and pattern

I will follow that which sets me free

I am done with the hatters game,

I find I stand much taller,

Without the weight of a role to play

Continuing the adventure,

Jessie

November 6, 2010
Stuck.

Somewhere, between Frankfurt and Trier, Nan is stuck on a train.

She’s been there for about nine months or so.

I’m doubtful if she will ever get out.

Nan is a character of a novel (unpublished) which I wrote about a year ago. I am making plans to give the novel a last edit and then publish to Amazon. With the kindle and proliferation of e-books, the gamble I take is that no one will read it. They most definitely aren’t reading it now, so I like the odds.

The thing is, with plans to publish the first book, I feel the need to get cracking on the second book which currently exists in a myriad of scenes and quotations in my head. I have the plot sketched out, I know how the adventure should go, I love the characters which I have created.

And yet Nan is just sitting on that train.

When I first started composing the follow up, I was frustrated because the characters which I had created wouldn’t behave in the way which I expected them to. They were suppose to fight, and yet one gave in too easily and the other never misbehaved. This strange stalemate which they put me into lasted for a few months when finally I had a break through, I resolved the discrepancies and they had a great fight. It would seem I would now be free to complete the novel, or at least a chapter.

Yet Nan is still sitting on that train.

I have been contemplating the reluctance I have had in writing the next stage of Nan’s story, and I realize that it isn’t really Nan who is stuck. It’s me.

The first novel I wrote (and rewrote) in a period of about six months. With a cheerleader and brave understanding of my message, I moved through the thousands of words with determination and gusto. I wrote a bold fiction based on those things which I knew to be true. Things I understood, a journey which I have been in the process of taking and could recognise the road signs.

Now though, Nan’s story, my story, is moving through uncharted territory. The roads are unfamiliar and my steps more hesitant.

And since I am not ready to step onto the platform, I am stuck on the train.

Continuing the adventure,

Jessica

November 4, 2010
Making the #Blogfest Deadline

So I was challenged this month to take part in a blog soiree of sorts, and to blog every day. Since I was tapped on the writing from yesterdays post, and I need some stock in my store, I decided to make a new book to post and have been stitching away to make the deadline for today.

This is a hard bound Coptic stitch journal. The covers are made from a marble vintage book, and are 5″ x 8″. It has 140 pages of blank medium weight newsprint, great for any sketch artist or avid creative journal. I will be adding it to my store soon, so if you would like it for yourself, be sure to keep your eyes open!

Continuing the adventure,

Jessi

November 3, 2010
Broken of Ambivalence

Yesterday, our church met for this first time in our new building. Not just any new building, but OUR new building. Our church has been homeless for 12 years, wandering from the hospitality of one location to the next, schlepping and hooking 400 chairs with us as we went. This summer alone we have met in three different locations.

My attitude when I woke up Sunday morning can be best described as meh.

You see, God made me to be a wanderer. As a child I was deemed to be a “bag lady” always prepped with whatever four Lego pieces, doll outfit, snippet of string and the color of the moment crayon which I thought I would need all tucked into a small bag ready to go at a moments notice. As I have gotten older, I still have Gypsy soul which always searches the horizon for where my next adventure lies. Currently, I carry in my mind a mental check list of those things which I need to accomplish in order to become a mobility cheetah; ready to spring at any opportunity which comes in my sight.

So as my church has gone through the arduous task of searching for, purchasing, and renovating a building to call home I have not had much emotional investment. It is mostly a fact to me that we needed a building of our own. I could clearly see the time and creative benefits of not having to set up and tear down a sanctuary each and every week. The money which Paul and I gave was God’s already, so giving it up in answer to the call of funding has been more of another bill to me. I just checked it off every month; utilities, rent, school loans, and building fund.

Even as I was writing prayers for the church which would be sheltered in the sanctuaries walls, I couldn’t quite catch the bug of enthusiasm that was buzzing in the air. It was just a building, just concrete and rebar, and wood. I didn’t understand.

So now we are back to Sunday morning, when the pieces started to make a bigger picture. Seeing all of the people who have become my spiritual family housed in one sanctuary set the corner edge. Worshiping with our band, and knowing that we could use as many lights and amps as we wanted because it was our stage started forming the border. Our pastors message, reminding the congregation of the many miracles God had done to bring us to this place filled in the outer edges. The quiet whispers of God in my ear, reminding me that while He made me to wander He made others to set down roots and there is purpose in us all, started giving the image pattern.

But the final piece, the one that makes the whole picture make sense, is a teenager in shabby clothes holding a worn out pillow case. He timidly accepts the piece of candy which I offer him, eyes full of doubt that it might all be a trick. The evening after our first service in our new building, we hosted Trunk or Treat, a free event in which people from our church decorate their cars and hand out candy. We invited our new neighbors to the event, and we had an amazing turn out. It was humbling to watch the reactions of those who didn’t know who we were, these crazy people dressed up in funny outfits with random decorations strewn across our cars. All laughing, all smiling and handing out candy, to the confusing amazement of people who may not receive many maniac acts of kindness like my church doles out.

Jesus was a wanderer. Often times, it is this fact which reminds me that I am on the right track, that I don’t need a nest or a fox hole, I just need to keep following Jesus. However, much of Jesus’ ministry was dependent on the hospitality of those who put down roots. People who built homes, who stocked their pantries and then offered those homes and pantries up to God. Where would Mary Magdalen be if a pharisee had not opened their home to Jesus? Where would the timid teenager have been Sunday night if we had not built a home for our church?

I have learned my lesson. I was not made to set down roots, I am like dandelion seeds which sail the wind. However, I know that whenever the air grows still, I have a family of oaks which I can rest under. Thank you for setting down your roots.

Continuing the adventure,

Jess

November 2, 2010
Air

I have not been feeling well lately, so I haven’t been much for making new things. I thought I would share something I found as I was flipping through my journal. I think this will continue to be the lesson which God has given me, and I wanted to share it with you.

You once called me Air

And assured it wasn’t meant as offence

But I couldn’t help the hurt

I wanted to be of more substance

Now I’ve been on this journey

Ten years of attempts to be profound

The scenery is looking too familiar

As I realize I’m at the starting ground

The things I’ve tried to be

The costumes I’ve tried to wear

Are starting to have a comic effect

I see people begin to stare

So now I’ve learned my lesson

It’s best to be my own element

And if people find me flighty

Then I should own the testament

Because trying to wear their expectations

Like ballast weighs me down

And I can’t give up this feeling

That I’m meant for higher ground.

Continuing the adventure,

Jessi

October 27, 2010
#Starbucks Bag Book

This was the challenge I found on my Starbucks bag a few weeks ago:

“So Reuse it. Reincarnate it. Reimagine it. And when it has served its every purpose, recycle it.”

Of course I could not let the challenge go unmet. So I present to you the Starbucks bag book. I made it using a folding technique taught to me by my friend, Kelly Rider. Never again will you need to go without a notebook after getting your morning fix!

If you want to make your own, here’s how:

1. Cut the bag up the sides, following the fold lines, including the triangle at the bottom.

2. Lay the bag out flat.

3. Starting along the length of the bag (what was formerly the front and back). Fold the bag in half, and then in half again. The result should be three creases with four sections. Make sure the creases are really thick, use a pen or a bone folder if you need to.

4. Lay the bag out flat again.

5. Starting along the bottom of the bag, (the reinforced section in the middle) fold the right side over and then back again. Repeat with the left, the result should be four creases and five sections. Trim away any extra of the bag which sticks out past the bottom when it is folded over.

6. Cut along the inside creases of the sections, as if you were going to cut the middle section out entirely. Stop, one section before you come back to the starting point and then turn into the middle section, making only two cuts so that you are left with 1 continuous piece of paper.

7. Beginning where you started your first cut, fold the bag accordion style (back and forth) along your previous creases, sometimes they will fold along the length of the page, sometimes along the width. When you come to your last section, fold it over the other pages to create your cover.

8. Cut the twine handle from your bag. Make two small slits in each of the cover sheets and lace the twine through so that you have a way to secure the book close. Tie with a simple half knot.

9. Now just show it off to all your friends!

Continuing the adventure,

Jess

October 25, 2010
Nature Themed Monogram Book

Someone is getting a very special book for their birthday.

Continuing the adventure,

Jess

October 18, 2010