Jess Boctor

Tag: birthday wishes

  • Who is in Heaven #26daysofprayer

    I don’t really look forward to heaven. 

    My perspective has always been more about what we are doing right now, in the present, to reflect God to the world. Maybe it was one too many precious moments coloring books in Sunday school, or too many cartoonish depictions of nightgown clad figures scattered through vague scenery, but heaven always seemed trivial to me.

    My favorite depiction of heaven comes from C.S.Lewis when he writes the The Last Battle, the final installment of the Chronicles of Narnia. Aslan takes the children and all the characters from the books to a new Narnia, and the entire time they keep shouting “Further up! Further in!” because there is always more to take in. 

    Rereading this story and a series of conversations in my life have made me question how little importance I place on heaven. I don’t know if I will ever be a person who can keep my focus on the pearly gates, just because I am slightly like a Dori fish, and there is just too much to look at around me, but I want to be reminded of what it is to hope for the assurance which God has given us.

    So this is my prayer request for today; that my perspective would be changed about heaven. That I would be reminded I serve an amazing God who only makes amazing things. Most importantly, that I would learn to lean into the hope God has given us.

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

    PS. My hope is that our last day will go something like this: I will stand in a ridiculously long line with my (human)Dad, who won’t mind. When I reach the gates, Jesus will give me a high-five and tell me that I had one hell of a ride, and he knows I made the most of it. Then, I want to go inside, kneel before the Father and hear him laugh.

    www.phantomblonde.com

  • Our Father #26daysofprayer

    These two words are some of the hardest for me to grapple with as a Christian.

    Our Father.

    My Father. 

    I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why a God who can create an ever expanding universe would care about being my dad. Why he would care about me in the ways described throughout the bible. He knit me together, gifted me, breathed life into me, has watched the well’s depth of tears that I have cried, seen my brightest moments and knows my inner defeats and has counted every hair on my head. 

    Why?

    This question of why comes from hurts which have occurred in my life (none of which we inflicted by my human father). It is a question which Satan uses to push me into a place of pain and has taught me to run from my Father. There are many walls which have been built upon the question of “why” in my life, and I know this is the first place that needs healing.

    So please pray for me that I would be protected from Satan as I begin this journey. Pray that I will begin to have peace in the fact that I don’t deserve an answer to why from the God which created the universe. Pray that I will begin to heal and see our Father with a new perspective. 
    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess