Tag: Write

  • In Pursuit of Clarity of Thought

    Recently, I have found myself feeling nostalgic for P2. P2 is a tool crafted by a previous employer that allowed documentation and communication across teams. The micro-blogging product allowed long form discussion to happen by being easy to use, having tags for individuals, a robust notification system, and making most things searchable. It was a verb as much as a product. The company culture was embedded with it, to the point that “If it isn’t in P2, it doesn’t exist”.

    As someone who has kept a journal for more of my life than not, writing out my thoughts has always been a way to process what is happening and next steps. Aside from the in-the-moment-brain-dump benefit, these writings have acted as record keepers. I can piece together how I got where I am today by seeing where I was before. Oftentimes, passing of time and new experience allow me to look back at an earlier period of my life with a different insight. Patterns and issues I was blind to become illuminated with a reflective perspective.

    Currently, my day-to-day work is heavy in interaction with LLMs. It feels like I am writing more than ever. At the same time, it seems easy to lose the context thread. I keep finding myself wishing for a place to look back, a desire to just “P2”.

    When I stopped to examine why, more than a year later, I still feel the loss of this tool, I realized it was more about a practice than it was about the tool.

    Long form writing forces clarity of thought.

    My opinion is that LLM’s encourage brevity. The harnesses and UIs that allow us to interact have short message boxes. The prompting and direction are meant to be a conversation. The models themselves do better with specificity over vagueness.

    P2, blogging, and journaling all force me to stop and think long enough to create a fully fleshed out piece of prose. This pausing, writing, and editing cycle creates a more distinct picture not only for the reader, but in my own mind. The action of fully describing a problem can often illuminate its solution, often called rubber-ducking in the tech world. And, of course, there is the aphorism that you don’t really understand a topic until you can teach it, or for my illustration, write about it.

    So here are some rituals and communication hygiene I am experimenting with to make sure I don’t lose clarity in pursuit of speed.

    1. Stop, drop, and prompt — I am instructing my agents to push back every time I start a new session. They should drop the shortened session start message and ask for a more in depth version. The pushback will require me to describe the prompt more fully, giving me time to really clarify the issue for myself and the agent.
    2. Pay attention to one session at a time — I often find myself jumping between multiple session threads. It gets easy to do when you the current agent session is working and you can just open a new tab to start a second thread. The goal isn’t to stop concurrent agent work but to stop context switching in the middle of a task.
    3. Maintain an un-siloed context stash — I have a journal for each customer (the main context I am responsible for) with dated MD files. Decisions, communications, and working sessions all get a note. It doesn’t have to be comprehensive, it just has to track the history of the customer in one place. This is all stored in a place where anyone from the company can access it.
    4. Encourage adversarial agents — I work in a small company. Oftentimes, the only eyes on work in progress are my own. Rather than having agents who passively agree, I encourage them to challenge what I prompt.

    I don’t think that P2 is the right tool or culture for every company, but I know the ritual of long form writing is beneficial to me and my work. I am finding my own way to implement clarity in daily life.

    If P2 sounds interesting an you would like to experiment with a P2-like product, another nostalgic A8c alumni has created a version you can manage on your own: https://github.com/georgestephanis/p2026

    Or you can sign up for the hosted version at https://wordpress.com/p2

  • My Body Tattles on Me #foolishauthenticity

    A few weeks ago I wrote about the decision I made to be at peace-no matter what was happening around me.

    Not as easy as it sounds.

    In many ways I have achieved what I set out to do. The swings from desperation to elation have evened out. I rely on my belief God has me here for a reason. I feel more level and can think a little bit more clearly when a new fill-in-the-blank-issue (and there is always a new issue) arises. I have learned to not let external things control me or dictate my state of mind. 

    I feel at peace. 

    Or at least stable.

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    I realize though that I have not yet learned to completely release these issues, or more importantly, I am not releasing the symptoms of these issues. As much as I love my life and the adventure I am able to participate in, I cannot deny it has been stressful. My body is no longer letting me deny it. 

    I’ve had a interesting range of symptoms from a strange knot in my neck which would not go away for two weeks, to a supressed immune system which is letting me catch every cold floating around, to a migrain which put me out of comission for three days. Paul is beginning to think I am a hypochondriac but I am realizing many of these things are related to stress. It seems I am more than willing to release the outcome of an issue but I am holding onto to the associated stress. Everything from the last few months has been pressed down and compressed within me. It is to the point that it is spilling out through these strange illnesses. I just keep slapping bandages of “decisions to be at peace” over them.

    The bandaids aren’t holding.

    So this week we are moving to our new apartment (Yay!), and afterwards I am taking a day off. A Sabbath of letting go of stress and holding onto my God.

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

  • Rescue Is Possible

    It seems that lately, in every part of my life I meet someone who is struggling with depression. Not the its-grey-outside-so-I’m-feeling-melancholy kind of depression. I mean the hard to escape takes the breath out of your lungs kind of depression.

    My heart aches for these friends.

    Maybe more so because I have been there. I have been through those days where you lock your jaw and just go one with life. I have been through those days when it feels like you are going insane and the only thing which keeps the rage inside is a mask of civility.

    I’ve been there.

    I was thinking about these friends and I remembered a song I wrote as I went through the process of healing. I want to share it in the hopes that they will know rescue and healing is possible. 

    Rescue is possible.

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

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    Rescue Me

    The mask I wear

    Gets heavier every day

    The games I play

    Stopped making sense to me

    The fear I face

    Is fading into the grey

    The beast I fight

    Is waiting inside of me

    The hole is getting darker

    The zoombie is getting stronger

    And I’m getting tired

    So please resuce me

    The story I tell

    They don’t want to hear

    The hell I live

    They refuse to see

    The hole is getting darker

    The zoombie is getting stronger

    And I’m getting tired

    So please resuce me

    Your eyes see through the darkness

    Your light blinds this monster

    And I can’t think of another

    Who can rescue me

    So please

    Please resuce me

  • When Peace is a Decision.

    There are seasons of life when you have to choose to be at peace.

    They are the seasons when no matter how much you hustle or try to be proactive, your future is simply not in your hands. Paul and I have been living this season since our move to Germany. We try to be as proactive as possible only to have some office say they need just one more piece of paper.

    You have to decide to be at peace. You have to choose to not let your circumstances dicate your emotions. You have take the breaths of encouragement when you get them. You have to hold onto them when you dive deep into beaurcractic processes.

    You have to let the tide to take you where you need to go. You have to realize this may not always be the same place as where you want to go. It most definitely won’t be on your time schedule either.

    You have to trust the one who commands the sea.

    [Jesus] replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:26

    Continuning the adventure, 

    Jess

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  • The Journey Part II

    This is the second spoken-word piece I performed. This recording was done the following Sunday. I sway less.

     

    I’m in a new place

    An unfamiliar sanctuary

    All around me, leaves are falling

    Dreams are falling; and I wait to breath

    Until Your Spirit falls on me.

    Across the ocean

    All I have pursued is for Your reign

    To be shown in all I do

    But I don’t believe that I am enough

    So let Your Spirit fall on me.

    This place where I am

    Is far from the place where I was known

    Though through this journey I learn

    You never leave me to walk alone

    So let your Spirit fall on me.

    The way is not simple

    I walk through paths wayward and dim

    The places I stumble mock me

    Daring my strength to give up, give in

    So let Your Spirit fall on me.

    It took so much strength

    Just to bring me this far

    But you’re not done with me yet

    And you will heal all these scars

    So let Your Spirit fall on me.

    A quiet voice calls

    Let go of past lies; they are not true

    And I cry in reply

    “Make me new, make me new, make me new.”

    And let Your Spirit fall on me.

    Because I am learning

    It is by your truth, I can see

    It is by your direction, I can lead

    It is by your Spirit Lord, that I am freed.

    So let Your Spirit fall on me.

     

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

  • The Journey Part I

    I was invited to perform a couple spoken word pieces at Mosaik’s International Food Night on Saturday. The theme of the evening was inspiration. This is the first piece I performed.

     

     

    I was once called air
    Assured it wasn’t meant as offence
    But I couldn’t help the hurt
    As I wanted to be of more substance

    Now I have long been on this journey
    Ten years of attempts to be profound
    But the scenery is looking too familiar
    As I realize I am at the starting ground

    The things I’ve tried to be
    The costumes I’ve tried to wear
    Are starting to have a comic effect
    And people stop to stare

    So I have learned my lesson
    It is best to be my own element
    And if people find me flighty
    It is just because I am different
    But trying to wear their expectations
    Like ballast weighs me down
    And I can no longer fight the feeling
    I am meant for higher ground.

     

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jessica