A Life Captured

I had a bit of an Obi-Wan Kenobi moment the other night as my friend and blogging student*, Cristin Smith, explained to me where the disconnect of my blog has been. I swear, somewhere nearby someone was breathing deeply and saying, “I was but the learner; now I am the master.”

However, Cristin looks much better in black.

Our discussion centered around the journals I make and the journals I use. Cristin pointed out to me the draw of anything I make is not the thing itself, it’s the story of the person who made it. She pointed to my stack of abused and tatterd journals and called them sex appeal.

I laughed.

I think they would be better described as the ravings of lunatic. Still, I’m the lunatic and those are my ravings. They’re my story; captured in words, pictures and tidbits I have a habit of stealing. They go back as far as September of 1997 and are an important reminder of the twists and turns my adventure has taken.

These books have affirmed for me depression really is something I have dealt with all my life. You only need to read through these books to see the thread of sadness which pierces me. 

These books remind me all I have ever really wanted to do with my life is write and sing. I have been a prolific writer, most often about my love of music.

These books remind of the times in my life when I had joy and peace. They remind of the times when I struggled through trajedy. They remind me of the times I have been right where I needed to be, and the times I have gotten off track. 

Most importantly, they remind me of the work of God in my life.

You see, I have finally figured out what the heck I am designed to do***. God has created and gifted me to engage people in their unique roles and draw them into the shared experience of humanities story.

So what does that mean?

It means I see you. I see who you as a unique individual with an identity all your own. I see what your hang ups are and what your gifts are. I see beyond who you are today, and look to who God designed you to be.**

 

And when I see you, I see the story around you. I see how other characters have affected you, and conversely, you them. I see the larger movement of culture and society. I see how the little things we do as individuals cause ripple affects which turn into tidal waves.

This is who I am.

And it is why journals are such a big part of my life. They are the way in which we record, remember, and recognize who we have been, who we are, and who we dream about being. 

They are our lives, captured.

Continuing the adventure, 

Jessica

 

*blogging student is a hyperbole; she wanted to start blogging so I tormented her into doing so

**this is obviously determined but the amount of time and conversation we have together, I am not Ms.Leo

***the process of finding my unique giftedness and purpose has taken more than a few years, and how exactly I am to accomplish this purpose remains to be determined.