Jess Boctor

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  • War Cries #26daysofprayer #decemberblogging

    On Sunday, Derek Imai spoke about declaring war on sin, Satan, and death. It was an awesome message and gave me great encouragement in living a life which not only takes me faith into account, but filters every decision through it.

    He ended the message talking about singing worship songs is a way to declare battle again sin, Satan, and death. The idea which popped into my mind was those of war cries, those things which we yell and shout to intimidate our opponents, letting them know of the coming battle.

    I really want my life to be different. I want to live on the front lines, taking big risks for God. Shouting for Him with all my lungs can give. Singing my war cries for His glory.

    On top of all that, I really just love to sing.

    So please pray with me for a new opportunity to sing. For discipline to refine my skills. Pray God would give me a new song, and do wondrous things with it.
    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

  • Hallowed be Thy Name #26daysofprayer #decemberblogging

    This is day number five of twenty six. Each day I am posting a prayer request for each day as I approach my golden birthday of 26 years.

    Today is about giving Glory to God.

    This is something I pray for often in my life, because I know it is easy for my perspective to get skewed in this area. It never takes me much time to move from, “I am using these gift’s God has given me in order to bring Him glory” to “I’m using these gifts God gave me, and since he gave them to me, he would want me to be glorified, right?”

    So please pray with me that my perspective would be kept on God who really deserves the glory. Pray my life would be nothing more than a testament to His power, creativity, grace, and ability to heal. Pray I would be nothing more than a shade through which His light shines.
    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

  • Deserving the High Five #26daysofprayer #decemberblogging

    Last night at small group we had an interesting conversation about mortality. We were challenged to face the reality of how short our time really is here on earth, and in doing so, consider what would be our regret if we were called to heaven right now. It makes me wonder if I would yet receive the Jesus high five which I so earnestly want.

    The truth is I don’t think I do. I suffered a great loss about three and half years ago. It knocked me out flat, and I took some time away from ministry in order to lick my wounds. While I don’t think the loss of my grandmother will ever heal, I have learned to function with the disability. Yet I still have not engaged back into ministry again. There have been some one time events which I have helped out with, but I have not been in a committed engaged ministry where I give of myself sacrificially. 

    If I were called to meet Jesus face to face today, this would be my regret.

    So please pray for me I would move back into ministry. Pray the Holy Spirit would guide this move, so I would find a ministry where I fit, rather than where I am plugging a hole. Please pray old bitterness would be uprooted from my heart so I can be free to serve without reservation.
    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

  • Who is in Heaven #26daysofprayer

    I don’t really look forward to heaven. 

    My perspective has always been more about what we are doing right now, in the present, to reflect God to the world. Maybe it was one too many precious moments coloring books in Sunday school, or too many cartoonish depictions of nightgown clad figures scattered through vague scenery, but heaven always seemed trivial to me.

    My favorite depiction of heaven comes from C.S.Lewis when he writes the The Last Battle, the final installment of the Chronicles of Narnia. Aslan takes the children and all the characters from the books to a new Narnia, and the entire time they keep shouting “Further up! Further in!” because there is always more to take in. 

    Rereading this story and a series of conversations in my life have made me question how little importance I place on heaven. I don’t know if I will ever be a person who can keep my focus on the pearly gates, just because I am slightly like a Dori fish, and there is just too much to look at around me, but I want to be reminded of what it is to hope for the assurance which God has given us.

    So this is my prayer request for today; that my perspective would be changed about heaven. That I would be reminded I serve an amazing God who only makes amazing things. Most importantly, that I would learn to lean into the hope God has given us.

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

    PS. My hope is that our last day will go something like this: I will stand in a ridiculously long line with my (human)Dad, who won’t mind. When I reach the gates, Jesus will give me a high-five and tell me that I had one hell of a ride, and he knows I made the most of it. Then, I want to go inside, kneel before the Father and hear him laugh.

    www.phantomblonde.com

  • GPP Street Team: What’s your hangup?

    I had told myself I wasn’t going to do these challenges anymore. I was going to get serious and talk only about books, music and God.

    But darn it Michelle you just keep drawing me in!

    When I saw that you had extended the deadline for the latest crusade to January, and I had just done this great frame on my wall, I knew I was done for!

     

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    The “frame” of these two collages is actually an old window frame from my great-grandmothers house in Germany. Each collage has to do with the ideas of home. The one on the left, with the little girl in it, was done by me. Its a bit of a representation of the innocence we have in our homes, our safe havens. The one on the right, with the heart, was done by my mother. It has memorabilia from my grandmothers house, another safe haven. I thought these three pieces would be a great way to show how much home means to me.

    I look forward to next years theme of evidence journaling!

    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jessica

  • Our Father #26daysofprayer

    These two words are some of the hardest for me to grapple with as a Christian.

    Our Father.

    My Father. 

    I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why a God who can create an ever expanding universe would care about being my dad. Why he would care about me in the ways described throughout the bible. He knit me together, gifted me, breathed life into me, has watched the well’s depth of tears that I have cried, seen my brightest moments and knows my inner defeats and has counted every hair on my head. 

    Why?

    This question of why comes from hurts which have occurred in my life (none of which we inflicted by my human father). It is a question which Satan uses to push me into a place of pain and has taught me to run from my Father. There are many walls which have been built upon the question of “why” in my life, and I know this is the first place that needs healing.

    So please pray for me that I would be protected from Satan as I begin this journey. Pray that I will begin to have peace in the fact that I don’t deserve an answer to why from the God which created the universe. Pray that I will begin to heal and see our Father with a new perspective. 
    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess

  • What comes next? #novemberblogfest

    For the last month I have been participating in this amazing, uncomfortable, and community building thing called #NovemberBlogFest. The purpose? To blog every day. I made 25 of the 30 days of November, and decided I was okay with that. I wasn’t going to get hung up on the legalities of how many posts I made, considering some of the posts I wrote dug deeper than I have ever written on this blog. I also decided not to get hung up on how “good” my posts were. Some, such as L is for Lingering and Laughter, gave a little bit of substance to this phantom person I am. Other, like Phase II may have been a bit more trifle at first glance, but it is a huge deal for me to have cleaned and organized my diffce (as I have decided to cal my home office/dining room). Overall I feel I accomplished many things during this time. Most importantly I have made new connections and friends, and look forward to reading their blogs well past the ending of the fest. 

    So the question which is now staring us all in the face is what comes next? For me, I already know the answer, as it has been on my mind for the past few weeks.

    Prayer.

    26 days from now is my 26th birthday. It is considered a golden birthday. My initial idea to celebrate this happy duplicity was to have 26 days of 26, and to fill it with an amazing assortment of trinkets and treasures all in quantities of 26.

    That is 676 trinkets and treasures. 676 things to buy. 676 things to store. 676 things to move from my desk, to my bedroom, to that random drawer, and to my next home (wherever that may be).

    Why would I need 676 of anything?

    As I asked myself this question, I began to ask myself what things it is that I really do need. What could someone give me as a gift which would fulfill the decencies I have? Where is my soul anemic?

    Prayer.

    It is something I struggle with. There are many reasons why, and it wasn’t always this way, but it is now. I know in there is nothing more I need than to be covered in prayer. So this is my birthday wish and request. For the next 26 days I will post prayer request and areas of my life which need answers, direction, and healing. I ask you would lift these up and for 26 days, cover my life in prayer in preparation for what God has next as this golden birthday approaches.
    Continuing the adventure, 

    Jess